Calling in sick

So, it's no secret that I'm unhappy at my job. And thanks to MSN.com I now have a plethora of excuses to choose from when calling in sick:
I was sprayed by a skunk.
I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.
My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.
I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity. (My personal favorite)
I forgot to come back to work after lunch.
I couldn't find my shoes.
I hurt myself bowling.
I was spit on by a venomous snake.
I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.
A hitman was looking for me.
My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.
I eloped.
My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.
My cat unplugged my alarm clock.
I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.
I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.
I forgot what day of the week it was.
Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.
A tree fell on my car.
My monkey died.
Actually, the one about the hair curlers is pretty feasible and could possibly happen :)